I am so sick of men thinking that because I’m a girl, I am by default at a disadvantage in a fight. That I start off with some sort of handicap.
Because last I checked I wasn’t the one with the large, incapacitating bull’s eye right between my legs. You can literally hit me ANYWHERE and it won’t…
Training in Krav Maga is supposed to empower people (women and men), not to make them delusional.
I am a small-frame guy (130 lbs.), and I am by default at a disadvantage in a fight against a stronger, heavier, larger opponent. Regardless of your gender, no matter how good of a fighter you are, size and strength do matter. That does not mean I won’t try my damn best to save my life. But I need to be aware of my limits and fight smart or - even better - run fast.
Yes, kicks to the groin hurt like hell, and they’re one of the most effective, practical tools in self defense. But trust me, in a real fight on the street, not all kicks hit the target. And not all kicks to the groin result in instantaneous pain. If a larger attacker was to hit you in the face full force, or stab you, or lift you up in the air and slam you to the ground, it won’t make much of a difference what hurts the most.
Be confident, not arrogant.
Yes, see, there you go proving my point PRECISELY. You don’t know me, you’ve never seen me, maybe I’m six feet tall and 180 pounds of muscle, but here you are thinking that what I’m venting about is the fact that I’m discriminated against for being smaller or thinner. I never said I was any of those things yet you automatically assumed I was without ever setting eyes on me and why? Oh, right. Because I’m a girl.
Which was precisely my point to begin with.
Trust me, being a small man doesn’t make you a woman. It doesn’t give you insight into what it feels like to be one and it certainly doesn’t make you understand the amount of macho bullshit women in martial arts have to put up with on a daily basis. Or women in general, as a matter of fact.
Honestly, this is not about what it feels like being a woman in martial arts. This is about the validity of what you wrote, from the point of view of realistic self defense: “I’m not the one with the large, incapacitating bullseye between my legs. You can literally hit me ANYWHERE, and it won’t be as painful as when I kick you in the balls.” Have you ever been hit with a real punch, full force, no boxing gloves? I guess not. Have you ever been in a real fight? Are you really that sure you’d be able to land a kick to the groin with a 100% probability of neutralizing your attacker? Because I’ve been practicing Krav Maga for 6 years now, and wouldn’t bet my life on one kick.
And even if you are a 6 feet tall woman weighing at 180 pounds of pure muscle, deal with the fact that many men will be physically stronger than you, possessing a greater K.O. power. You are not defenseless, but that puts you at a disadvantage in a fight, whether you like the idea or not, whether the concept aligns with your beliefs or not.
There’s no ego in self defense.
Isn’t it wonderful how, even though it is my post, on my blog and they are my words expressing my feelings, you somehow feel like you know what this is about better than me? Isn’t that great? Also. There is no ego in self defense? Seriously? Are you going to start quoting the Bushido next?
"I am so sick of men thinking that because I’m a girl, I am by default at a disadvantage in a fight.”
Do you get it now? You still don’t, do you?
It’s not because I’m thinner, it’s not because I don’t pack as much muscle, it’s not because I’m shorter. It’s because I am a WOMAN. It’s because in the eyes of men, even a smaller man is a more dangerous opponent than a tall, imposing woman. It’s because even with a knife in her hand, a woman will be ranked less of a threat than a man with a stick. In fact, chances are if she’s wearing a dress, she won’t be ranked at all. If three people get into a fight and one of them is a woman, you can bet your ass the men are going to think “I got into a fight with this dude. His girlfriend was there.”
Now do you get it?
THAT is what this is about and THAT was my point. It’s guys in the gym straight up refusing to work with you, because they don’t want to work with “a girl” since they’re here “to actually train”. It’s always getting singled out, always being treated differently, always “everyone give me thirty push-ups. well, ok, the girls can do twenty.” It’s not “people under 140 pounds”, it’s not “you must be this tall to…” it’s always “girls”. It’s telling the men “come on ladies, I want to see some real effort!” or “is that how you throw a punch? what, are you a girl?” with you sitting right fucking there and no one bats an eye. It’s attitudes like yours when I say “woman” and you see “smaller”.
It’s hundreds of shitty little things like that that you hear constantly, that men often don’t even realize are so sexist and offensive and fucking annoying. THAT is what this is about. And if you STILL don’t get it, please, just get the hell off my dash. I am not here to educate you.
Had you written “I hate the fact that I’m constantly discriminated in training,” I would’ve been perfectly fine with that. (My suggestion is: if you feel treated that way in your gym, you should leave and find a place where both the instructor and the students aren’t a-holes.)
As for the rest, I’m sorry, but it’s true: there are exceptions of course, but a small guy may very well be physically stronger than a more imposing woman. A dress - all kinds of formal clothing, to be fair - is a huge disadvantage in a fight, because it will inevitably limit and impair your technique and striking power. As for weapons, they are indeed the true equalizer, but I’d pick a stick against a knife any day (because of the reach factor).
When I wrote “There is no ego in self defense,” I meant that violence does not care about equality principles. If you truly are interested in learning how to effectively protect yourself from real-life violence, you should start looking at things for what they really are. You should train and prepare for reality, because reality is not going to conform to your principles and beliefs.